fairytale/

Fairytale
'cause I don't care for your fairytales You're so worried about the maiden though you know She's only waiting on the next best thing Snow White is doing dishes again cause What else can you do With seven itty-bitty men? Sends them to bed and calls up a friend Says will you meet me at midnight? The tall blonde lets out a cry of despair says Would have cut it myself if I knew men could climb hair I'll have to find another tower somewhere and keep away from the windows

Tuesday, January 11, 2011,

Hope.

The house is quiet and the mind is clear. Guess it's about time for a proper update.

So 2011 started out reaaaally bad for not just me, but a lot others as well. But life's a rocky road, isn't it? I've learnt to accept that since I was a 14 year old girl when I honestly felt that the entire world was literally weighing on my shoulders. What happened back then really scarred my life, and I thought I'd never be so upset/shaken/broken/whatever ever again. Then 4 years later, life just had to put on a Titanic show and hit the iceberg all over again, just that it's a different situation altogether this time round. Maybe a Poseidon instead of a Titanic this time, cause I still think that the whole drama 4 years back was way more traumatising then this. And I feel that Titanic is more tragic then Poseidon, so..

Okay enough rambling...

Whatever it is, this is one of the extremely rare times where I can no longer withstand the pressure and my protective, defensive shell just cracks and shatters and whatever strength that's left within me just, disappears. So much that I actually cry myself to sleep, cry in public, mope around a lot and be a major emogirl in public and on spaces like Twitter - super disconcerting. Felt like I lost my soul and I didn't like one bit of what'd become of me.

But sometimes emotions = unfathomable, incomprehensible. You just cannot control it. And every now and then, even the strongest person alive will break down and fall apart. And I'm of no exception, yet apparently some just don't understand, and some still judge. It's mega, mega frustrating but I will put it aside for now because ultimately this isn't my problem, it's theirs. And I don't want to live by others' opinions.

My mind tells me one thing, but my heart tells me another. And which did I choose to listen to? Logic or emotions? Frankly, I don't know. Not the right time to make final decisions yet. Not yet. But on a much brighter note, I've managed to gather some courage and I've broken out of my trance cause it's time to face reality. All's not over yet; it's still a cliffhanger. And the only way to break out of this tangled mess with no regrets is to stay calm and deal with it properly. And accept the outcome of it, whichever it may be.

Really glad that my mind is clear now. To those who cared, thanks :) Much, much appreciated.

Now, just hope.
Hope. :)